Nuclear Pork Review

It's not all pork you know!

What is the NPR?

The Nuclear Pork Review is a quasi-scientific web resource for connoisseurs of pork based savoury pie, slice or roll products and so much more. There is a whole world of savouries out there, the steak and kidney pie, chicken tikka slice, cheese and onion pasty and the might of the scotch egg.

THE PHILOSOPHY OF THE NPR

The philosophy of the NPR is so much more than mere physical annihilation by hydrogenated fat; this is a way of life and spirit. This is about consumerism at its most vacuous and unfulfilling, a domination of marketing and urge over actual need and pleasure. It is a metaphor for Western society and values. It emphasises so much the "NOW!" as opposed to the trivial "what?" and "why?" distractions.

Consumption of these sad, soggy masses of grey gristle and sterile starch is as a pure an expression of self hate as any other that can be thought of - the ultimate Nirvana of the Human Condition. Depressed teenagers need no longer cut themselves in darkened bedrooms, addicts need no longer to roam the streets looking for the next fix; everything that is needed can be found in your local supermarket or convenience store. The meat may be mechanically recovered, the soul is not.

It is our DESTINY as a species to self destruct with MSG and antioxidants. To die, one by one of both hyper-obesity and malnutrition, choking on gristle and goo that is a colour which does not occur in nature.

WHAT WE ARE NOT ABOUT

The NPR is not about sweet pies, desserts etc. We have no interest in this area of pastry products. There is no nobility in a choux bun or apple turnover.

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